Chosen to Stand

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• WelcomeApril 22, 2026
  My name is David. I’ve adopted 11 boys through the years. I’ve lived through both struggles and triumphs and will share the journey in complete transparency.

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Adoption

Most couples choose to have children either by birth or by adoption. Both paths are meaningful and deeply fulfilling. I believe God orchestrates adoption just as He does birth—both are sacred.

Yet, at times, the sacredness of bringing a child into the world—and the responsibility that comes with it—is not fully embraced. Some parents relinquish that responsibility, allowing grandparents or relatives to take custody or adopt their child so they can pursue their own interests.

In other situations, biological parents become entangled in harmful lifestyles that place their children in danger. They may be unwilling—or unable—to break free from those patterns. Substance abuse, in particular, often leads to domestic violence, drawing the attention of law enforcement.

When children are endangered or abused, the state intervenes. A case is built on evidence, and eventually a judge must decide whether the family can be reunified under supervision or whether to terminate parental rights (TPR).

Termination of parental rights is permanent. Once that decision is made, the search begins for a suitable home for the child—with varying outcomes.

Most prospective parents hope to adopt infants. However, there are far more families waiting than there are babies available.

As a result, many older children remain in need of homes.

As a single man, I believed the best fit for me was “out of diapers, but too young to drive,” given the demands of work and daily life. I focused on children between the ages of five and nine.

But children in this age group often carry heavy burdens. Many have endured trauma that has deeply affected their emotional development. Trust has been broken repeatedly, making it difficult to rebuild. Abuse—of many kinds—has left lasting wounds. Most are behind in school, which is no surprise. How can a child focus on learning when they are worried about their next meal or what might happen when they return home?

Over time, I adopted eleven boys within this age range. It was challenging, and blending them into a family was nothing short of a Herculean task. But regardless of the hurdles, it was worth the risk.

In the pages ahead, I will share some of my experiences—stories from the lives of several of my sons, along with glimpses of their histories and struggles.

A Glimpse of the Struggle

One son became withdrawn and deeply depressed. After several days, I knew it was time to talk. With great difficulty, he finally confessed that every time he looked in the mirror, he saw his biological father staring back at him—a man serving a ten-year prison sentence for violence against his children.

In that moment, all I could offer was this: Son, your biological parents were simply the means God used to bring you into this world. You didn’t deserve what you went through.

Through tears, he replied, “I hope God will let me be the one who pushes him into Hell.”

The pain. The anger. The longing for justice.

Scars remain. Wounds do not always heal cleanly.

But today, that same young man has found his way. He holds a full-time job in Oklahoma and is moving forward with his life.

I write from the heart. I’ve tried to be honest and transparent, sharing moments that are unique to my sons’ experiences. Because some of these stories carry difficult or negative tones, don’t be discouraged. Most of our day-to-day life was positive and deeply rewarding.

But some days were more than tough.

Don’t close your heart to a child who has been abused. God gives wisdom and works in their lives, often using us as His hands extended to bring about change and healing.

Your presence—your intervention—in a child’s life can, in time, make all the difference.

Note: Names have been changed to protect their identities.